The only thing constant is change

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 18:24:07 GMT

leaving for Europe in exactly 1 hour and 37 minutes. should be....educational if not exciting.

i'll be back the 28th if anyone's around and wants to hang.

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 16:12:51 GMT

I hate being on edge.

I hate it when I'm
angry
sad
disappointed
alone
frustrated
outraged
misunderstood
lost
depressed
ignored.

i hate being on edge

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 23:13:36 GMT

my mom is a judgemental bitch.

and she doesn't even know it.

Tue, 23 May 2006 18:04:15 GMT

We spend 17 years developing our personalities. 17 years defining who we are both to ourselves and to everyone else.

After 17 years, we have a self image. A "perfect us" per se-some particular way that we would look to match our personality. What would you look like? I'd have crazy frizzy hair...

If you could change yourself to match how you've painted yourself in your mind, what would you do?

Sat, 20 May 2006 18:13:05 GMT

It feels so good to be happy being me.

This has been the best decision of my entire life.

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 23:34:24 GMT

i need to get me a pair of those

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 20:12:48 GMT

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 01:10:31 GMT

Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will

Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echos in every room
I would

That's what I'd do, That's what I'd do to get through to you

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 19:34:29 GMT

Got to thinking again...

I'm not the one that someone will think of.
I'm not the one that someone will pick up the phone to call.
I'm not the one that someone will go out of their way to make plans with.
I'm not the one that someone will make plans with.
I'm not the one that someone will try to cheer up.
I'm not the one that someone will notice a difference in.
I'm not the one that someone will notice if I'm gone.

I'm not that girl. Its enough to make you want to figure out exactly how important you are in the grand scheme of things.

Thanks for calling earlier Shaynen.

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 13:20:13 GMT

I should listen to others more

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 23:52:49 GMT

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:13:43 GMT

Time for an update:

I got back from Florida sunday (yesterday?) Disney was amazing-I love the parks and the characters and the atmosphere and the whole concept. The trip as a whole-let's just say it wasn't so hot. There were some awesome parts though! ::cough cough luau cough::

Now I'm getting seriously pumped for prom! I have to go get a dress...but I now have tentative after prom plans which I definately didn't think would happen!

I'm also pumped about school next year. I went to this meeting for accepted students to MIT last night-all I want to do is get the hell out of here and go there. Preferably sooner than later.

And I had an epiphany last night about myself. Which caused me to realize why I haven't had many successful, lasting friendships. so much will change next year-I just want to be there already.

"I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone..."

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 04:29:02 GMT

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 04:10:41 GMT

"You always know what to say to make me smile"

thanks.

What's left?

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 20:57:50 GMT

So I've been saying a lot recently that senior year is relaxing. I can't believe I'm actually saying that becuase im taking 5 AP's, 1 honors, and 1 level two class, had hardcore debate and marching band, got a (real) job, and have friends, but it is. Relative to junior year, I guess. Its calming to go home and just talk to people online or think about how i have no reponsibilities now taht my applications are in or whatnot. Yeah, awesome.

Anyway, so here's what I had to worry about this year. As of today-there's very little left on the list...

College applications
waiting to hear from MIT
senior trip rooms
class rank
prom date
debate speaker rank
handling classes
getting a job

71 days left, and for the first time, I don't know that I want it to end

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 21:28:11 GMT

So...

The second half of this week was fantastic. I'm not even gonna go into Monday, and Valentines Day (those two days last year--oh my G-d), and Wednesday...but thursday and friday were phenominal.

Let's see...thursday class rank came out. And unlike september, there was no righteous outrage. I'm second, greg's first, i'm happy and mom's rewarding me w/ a Broadway show! Now I have to decide which one...

and then the debate standing surfaced as well. At the beginning of the season, I decided that I wanted to earn best speaker for my division...although I did that and tied for best speaker in the league! (yay!) So now everyone wants to see me debate this girl from eastern--except I saw her last year, and she's really good. like, a whole lot better than me.

then friday--half day, relaxing--then trina came over. Its so great to chill out for 5 hours, making cookies, watching disney, playing with gimp, talking about everything yet nothing at all, not even needing to talk, sharing a thousand words though a single glance, laughing at cryptic sayings, and so much more. Man, its so great to have close friends...

i really need to hang with andi more, though...

and i really need a date for prom...

and i really need to do a lot of things...

we'll see.

MIT Pickup lines

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 18:52:00 GMT

This is amazing....

"Do you have a library card? 'Cause I'm checking you out."

"Baby, can I be your DNA helicase? 'Cause I want to unzip your genes."

"I wish I were a derivative, so I could be tangent to your curves."

"Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors."

"You and i add up better than a riemann sum"

"I'm not being obtuse, but you're acute girl"

"Baby, you and I must be two isotopes of deuterium because our fusion is as hot as the sun!"

"Are you the square root of two? 'Cause you're making me irraaaaaaaational!"

I am falling more and more in love with this school

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 02:55:09 GMT

abandoned

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 23:17:46 GMT

SPAMIT:

Stupid People At MIT

Wow-i loev their sense of humor.

MIT: Where the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 21:49:35 GMT

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 03:34:08 GMT

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

If I am only for myself, who am I?

And if not now, when?

Why is it that those I love are so judgemental of those I give my heart to?

107 days. Then it all starts over again without the ones who hold me up.

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 23:39:34 GMT

Going to the dentist sucks for one reason only.

They put that flouride crap in your mouth...and that's when you get hungry--exactly when they tell you that you can't eat for another half hour!

Then you hit traffic on 70 coming home, so 30 minutes turns into 90 minutes...

Oh, the dentist.

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 00:21:25 GMT

This is the update later that I said I'd do a few days ago

I WAS ACCEPTED TO MIT!

ok, that's all for now.

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 23:59:35 GMT

A told B, and B told C, "I'll meet you at the top of the coconut tree."

"Wheel!" said D to E F G, "I'll beat you to the top of the coconut tree."

Chicka chicka boom boom! Will there be enough room? Here comes H up the coconut tree,

and I and J and tag-along K, all on their way up the coconut tree.

Chicka chicka boom boom! Will there be enough room? Look who's coming! L M N O P!

And Q R S! And T U V! Still more - W! And X Y Z!

The whole alphabet up the - Oh, no! Chicka chicka... BOOM! BOOM!

Skit skat skoodle doot. Flip flop flee. Everybody running to the coconut tree.

Mamas and papas and uncles and aunts hug their little dears, then dust their pants.

"Help us up," cried A B C.

Next from the pileup skinned-knee D and stubbed-toe E and patched-up F. Then comes G all out of breath.

H is tangled up with I. J and K are about to cry. L is knotted like a tie.

M is looped. N is stopped. O is twisted alley-oop. Skit skat skoodle doot. Flip flop flee.

Look who's coming! It's black-eyed P, Q R S, and loose-tooth T. Then U V W wiggle-jiggle free.

Last to come X Y Z. And the sun goes down on the coconut tree...

But - chicka chicka boom boom! Look, there's a full moon.

A is out of bed, and this is what he said, "Dare double dare, you can't catch me. I'll beat you up the top of the coconut tree."

Chicka chicka BOOM! BOOM!

My mom started quoting "A million chamelions" from memory...and my dad did the same later. I miss being little. I called my dad the other night and just said, "Papa, will you get the moon for me?" Its weird to think I won't be home to be tucked in next year.

Its been too long...

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 03:45:59 GMT

Wow--my last entry was a quick rant, and before that was only Peter quotes! (not that there's anything wrong with Peter quotes). That is definately my favorite class this year, even though I never thought I'd be saying that.

I'm all ready to write and I realized that I have nothing to say.

never mind then, guess i'll update later?